Edward Finds Fanfiction
by PockyxPocky
Summary: Edward, everyone's favorite innocent virgin vampire finds some not so innocent entries on a fan fiction sight! About him! *Le Gasp* Just when someone walks in... no description of what he reads! sorry but the reactions are all good R&R please!
1. Edward and Jake

Disclaimer: I don't Own Twilight D: Edward D: Jasper D: or any other characters TT But I do own This random short idea get your own!! .

Fanfiction

"Hey Edward what'cha doing?" Alice asked skipping in to Carsile's study.  
"Nothing Alice." I mumbled continuing to search on how to read this stuff.  
"Fan fiction?" She asked looking over the sight.  
"Reading not writing." I answered scrolling down the screen.  
"What do the slashes mean between character names?" She asked again.  
"Fights?" I guessed. But traditionally it was vs. right?  
"Oh, click on the Jacob/Edward one I bet you win." Alice said assuming with me.  
"Did you see that in the future?" I chuckled.  
"No…common sense." She giggled back.  
We both laughed.  
I clicked the icon. Alice made this face: O.O  
I made this face: O.o  
Bella came up behind us then.  
"Hey guys what are you looking at?" . . . "WHAT!! Eww! You and Jake!!"

If vampires could die by things that burned their eyes and rotted there minds then we would all be dead…..

If this absurd fan fiction were true….I swear…..

Emmet came in then. "What's with the commotion?" He looked at the screen and went out into a roar of laughter.

Rose walked up and made a snippy remark. " And I thought loving a human was odd…."  
Bella made a face as Rose, she apologized.

Carsile and Esme came in. Disturbed struck there face to. I heard Carsile think of accepting my gayness…

We all looked to see who wrote this and the username read:

WereWolf in La PushJB

. . .


	2. Edward and the Lemons

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward but Bella does! Stephanie calls dibs on all and wrote da book of awesomeness! I am just writing random about wondrous fan fiction and if said characters found it! That is all read please!!**

EdProv:

I sat at the computer again after avoiding it for a week. The horrid fan fiction had scared me for life. And Bella. Ugg. It took me forever to convince her that I wasn't gay. Convincing my family was an even harder task. Emmett wasn't letting the subject drop either. Sigh. I decided that reading a different pairing would be more appropriate. I scrolled through the names until I saw my Bella's. I clicked her as 1 and myself as number two for character choices. I was real why did it say character?

After trying to figure that out resulting in a head ache I decide to just read through the several thousands of pages upon pages that came up for me and my Bella. I smiled to myself. I scrolled through the many summaries and descriptions till I realized that one word was repeated so casually it irked me. Why would anyone mention fruit in a fan fiction? Especially such a distasteful one to humans?

"Lemons?" I asked out loud. This was simply preposterous!

"Did you say something Edward?" My sweet Bella asked.

I simply nodded before realizing the 'Oh so obvious fact' that she was human and probably could explain this astounding phenomenon. "Bella can I ask you something…?"

"Yeah, sure what is it?" she came over and sat beside me bringing up another chair.

"I don't understand the use of the word "lemons" in any of these descriptions, it doesn't fit in the sentence at all, and it just makes no sense!" I fumed.

Bella looked over the page then after a while she finally responded to my question. "Sometimes people use code words on some of these sights. I'm guessing that "lemons" is a code word for something else. You could always read it and find out. But you are not by any circumstances reading one about you and Jake" she shuddered there" or without someone here with you. You could skim over something like that and Emmett could catch you then, then…!" We both shuddered.

With that we both began to read. By the time we came to mid reading Bella's face was deep scarlet and she looked like she was about to faint, while I hadn't blinked in a few minutes, eyes stuck to the screen proclaiming we did such a wondrous deed.

I heard a thud and a moment later, after prying my eyes from the screen, I saw Bella sprawled on the floor, fainted. If I was human I would have probably would have died from embarrassment…..OH God!!

**Hahahahaha! I hope Bella lives for another chapter! Tell me if I should continue! Sorry for late update I got a new computer!! R&R please!**


	3. Edward Vs Jasper! : Bella 4 Grabs!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the hospital, Edward (Although I wish I did) or any twilight related awesomeness, only the random plots I put them in!!**

**Jasper vs. Edward: Bella up for grabs!**

**EdProv: **

Later that day I was at the hospital with my beloved Bella. She hadn't died. Thank God! But she was still unconscious and very red. When she finally woke up she wouldn't speak to me, no matter how hard I tried. She was still flustered by the whole event. I walked her to my Volvo and I drove her back to my house, Carlisle probably needed to watch over her to make sure she didn't die…

Bella fell asleep a few hours later in my room. Depressed that she was so upset by us even 'doing a lemon'(I have no idea how humans think up such things, and I should know because I can here thoughts…)

I walked into Carlisle's study and turned to the computer. I decided to change the characters. I scrolled till I found Jasper. He would probably feel better about me if I found something about him and Alice. I clicked enter without thinking of changing Bella out of it.

When I read the numerous listings of Jasper and MY Bella I was enraged no, no, that's far too nice of a word, I was damn straight pissed!! I went to Jasper and tackled him to the ground. We fought in a wrestling match till Carlisle and Emmett separated us. How dare he comfort MY Bella in such away when I left! When I told him we should all leave! He came back to lemon with MY Bella!!

**((I actually found a few fan fictions of Jasper coming back and Bella and him end up together cause he makes her feel better, apparently so did Edward))**

Esme made me clean the house and told Jasper to convince me that never happened. He finally made me realize one tiny fact **ITS FAN FICTION!!**! ….duh.

After cleaning the house I returned to the office to ex out of the page when I saw the user name:

**EmoEmpath**

That's when all hell broke loose…

**((Thanks for reading! I'm super tired so sorry if this isn't the best one yet ' , but hey good news If you guys (my adoring readers) want Edward to find your fan fiction PM me and I'll read it and most likely cause chaos in the Cullen home for them finding it! R&R If you can!!))**


	4. Edward and Screamo

**((Ok so I love writing these tiny one-shot-jumble-o-fun-chapters! And I got my first request to so here it is Edward finding Never again. And I must say this is going to be a longer one check out the two chapter story as well! Here's for you KatieCullenSwan!))**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the story this is based off of, Edward TT or forks, sniff….waaaaaa….

**Never Again**

**EdProv:**

Here I was at the computer again. Its addicting stuff I have to say. I decided to just put in random things and find what ever came along my way, seeing how whenever I put something purposely in it always turns out wrong. I sighed.

I strolled down the page. Not reading descriptions, nor titles, but usernames. I was sick of reading Jacob's and Jasper's fan fiction….so darn aggravating. It turned out that Emmett had hacked Jasper's account with the most obvious password: Alice

He wrote that as a prank. I was still not talking to him.

Then I stumbled upon a username:** KatieCullenSwan**

How odd she had put my last name, Bella's last name and her first name? , all together. Seeing this I decided to read her fan fiction. I read the chapter about what seemed like a possible event that could take place. Of course I would never try to frighten my Bella though….she could hurt herself. I was quite satisfied with it, besides the mentioning of the dog or the kiss scene till I came across the last line.

_And why had I liked it so much?_

Bella liked kissing Jacob? She had kissed him before; her thoughts were probably the same in real life. Angst. I turned to my diary** ((Ha-ha! My other fan fiction!!))**

I locked myself in my room and put on a CD that jasper had given me, scream-o.

**BellaProv:**

I entered the Cullen home shutting the door behind me. They never locked their doors and I could see why since they were all vampires, which never slept, or couldn't handle a robbery. Just then I realized why I had a headache there was a vibrating loudness of music pulsing throughout the house. Why would Edward….

My thoughts were cut short by catching a rush of white come straight towards me. Jasper? "Make it stop!" He practically cried at me.

"Well tell me what's going on first! Where's Edward?" I asked having to speak louder over the music.

"In his room! And what else do you think could make him so upset?" He asked me as we both answered at the same time."Fan Fiction." **((Dun Dun Dun DUNNNNN))**

I walked up the stairs to Edwards's room, almost losing my footing twice because of the vibrations. "Edward! Edward opens the door!" I called to him.

I noticed the door knob turn before the wave of music practically knocked me down the stairs. Edward snapped out of whatever phase he was having and saved me from my horrid fall. He caught me with a "huff" from me. He had turned off the music before saving me, hoping I would catch my balance. My ears popped after that, adjusting to the silence.

"Edward what's going on?" I asked him. He had the most pained expression on his face. I wanted to cry.

"Ed-dward?" I asked again. He let out a sigh and looked away. Turning to go back to his room. I grabbed his hand before he left.

"Edward tell me what's going on!" I cried.

He didn't face me as he replied. "Would you go behind my back and kiss Jacob?"

I took in a small gasp. Then became enraged."Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! How dare you think I would be with him after I've told you my heart is with you! I would hit you to try and Knock that ridiculous thought out of your head if I didn't think it would hurt me more!" I yelled.

He turned around to face me. He didn't look at me though, just played with my fingers. "Really?" He asked in almost a whisper.

"Yes really, I love you!" He looked up and smiled at my declaration.

Jasper passed us just then grumbling something under his breath which sounded like a string of profanities with his CD in hand.

Edward looked to me and smiled, finally realizing there was no doubt between our relationship and spoke the oddest sweetest words I've ever heard. "Want to lemon?"

**(Hahahahahahaha!! I needed to end on a funny note like always! Hope you guys liked this one! Please feel free to PM R&R and request things to write about, even your own fanfiction!!))**


	5. Edward and the Law

**((YESSSS!! Finally 1000 hits! You guys rock thanks for reading my silly one shot that combine to randomness! This isn't just an author note but it is IMPORTANT!! Why? You ask because I'm telling you guys how great you are!! Please enjoy the next add on!))**

**Disclaimer: Edward owns my heart but I don't own him!!**

**EdProv: **

It turns out that for the first time in my life I'm grounded. For numerous petty reasons but they all add up:

Loud music that disturbed the peace

Making Jasper uncomfortable and that caused everyone else to be upset

Almost hurting the human member of our family, Bella

I'm really ashamed of myself for that. That's part of my punishment the other part is I can't see Bella for a 24Hr time period starting right when we were about to make that Fan Fiction fact. Sigh. Bella had to go home and I'm stuck reading about everything I can't do with Bella. I finally understand the term **"life sucks".**

I scroled down the list of reads on the computer, and surprisingly there was a really interesting one. My Bella was musical. How I'd love to share my passion of music with her…sigh.

So I read. It was called: "The Music Which Brings Us Together Once More." By **LittleMissTrumpetPlayer.**

My unbeating heart ached after I realized exactly what was happening. My Bella, a vampire, she hated me, and I never came back to her after …20 years. I can't explain the pain I felt. She forgave me but still to do that to her. I needed to see her. I had to!

I left the house at such blinding speeds no one caught me. I rushed up the wall and through the window to my sleeping Bella. She was mumbling my name and how much she missed me….

That's when things got ugly. Alice had a vision, Emmett and Jasper came to get me, and threatened to put me on house arrest by….Chief Swan. I've never been so afraid of a human before. Even the Volturi could not pale against his wrath, the wrath of "The Father with a teenage Daughter."

**I was screwed. **

**((Thank you for reading. Please review if you have the time. I need to know if this sucked or rocked or what to type next! Let me know! I can even make Edward find your fan Fiction!!))**


	6. Found! Edward Finds Fan Fiction!

**FOUND!**

**((Ok guys so I have a good amount of requests and I WILL get to them all but I realized something last night. WHY HASN'T EDWARD FOUND MY FAN FICTION?? So here it is. Its sort cute and guarantees that you'll need surgery for you spleen! Because….It's gut busting humor!! XD Enjoy!))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stephanie Meyer or her intelligence, I'm just barrowing!**

**EDProv:**

2 hours 34 minutes and 54 milliseconds till I can see Bella again. I decided to read fan fiction (big surprise there) I scrolled looking through the humor, there was funny things but most of it was Alice doing something to my poor Bella or Emmett making bets with her. That was till I found a Fan Fiction called: Edward Finds Fan Fiction.

So I read and I was disturbed. Every single Chapter was an Even I had already happened! Who was spying on me who else knew my secrets? What human would write about this? (Me) I pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't want to kill a human, they thought it was fiction, but in reality it was all real. How in the world was I going to find this human anyways?

I decided to look at the user name and profile. The username was: **KlutzyBlush18** (made up I hope)

All the profile said was:** I fall down a lot.**

Great. Did I even know a person who falls down a lot and Blushes?

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock….

DUH!

**((Edward was in his frantic I don't know what to do over think things mode so he totally over looked Bella! Silly Vampire!))**

I sent Klutzy a PM. :

Bella? ((K Bella E Edward))

**K(** :F I'm a vampire!

**E(**You're a silly human.

**K(** ;D

**E(** rolls eyes

**K(** TT

**E(** O.O

**K(** …..

**E(** !!

**K**( XD

**E**( .

**K**( LOL

**E**( ?

**K**( Laugh Out Loud rolls eyes

**E**( TT

**K(** Edward you're a vampire you can't cry

**E(** Humph

**K(**:D

**E(** :D

**K(** G2G make Charlie Dinner BYE!

**E(** Bye Love!

Sigh….such an amazing human to**. MY BLUSHING KLUTZ!** Get your own **James!**

**((Hey If you guys were thinking "Hey how can Bella do an Edward prov? She can't her thoughts!"))**

**My answer 1: IT'S FAN FICTION!!**

**2: It's cute Fluff!**

**3: I don't know but it needed a three!!))**

**((Hahahaha! I put that there (go get your own James) cause I read a fan fic where James wanted more from Bella than just to piss off Edward. It was funny!! And you know I guess I put in a little fluff to. I hope you guys liked it and don't think I'm off my rocker! XD Please R&R, PM, or even add me to your favorites or alerts! Its less than typing, it's clicking!! I hope you guys have a good 4****th****! And if you're **

**not American well I hope my fan fix helps your day just be an extra special day wow I wrote a lot…. Hey I can still make Edward find your fan Fic! Let me know!!))**


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